Oi, life is such a fast paced thing. Which is a pity for my poor blog.

I suppose I should start with the week I spent in Calgary with David, since that was where I was headed in the previous entry. I have to say, it was a very awesome week. I don’t think I’ve had that much fun in a very long time. He was a great host, and is easily the most awesome guy I know.. even if he is rather violent in his sleep! I really loved Calgary, it was a beautiful city. I could live there, and definitely would like to go back next year. His family was wonderful, I don’t think I’ve ever been treated so well as a guest. And he’s just to damn cute for his own good For the record, I did almost not come home. Had it not been for the job I had waiting for me, I probably would have canceled my return flight and stayed quite a while longer. But, alas, life is cruel and I can’t pass up an opportunity. So yes, I can’t wait to go back again ^_^

I’ve been working a lot lately. 40+ hours a week easy. I got a job at an Ethanol plant as the IT person, which is pretty cool. We’ve got 2 plants, and a grain and dryer facility. I do believe the papers were signed to acquire a third plant this last week. So I’m probably going to be putting in 50+ hour weeks once we get the ball rolling on trying to get it up and running ASAP.

Obviously, this means I didn’t end up decided to go to SCAD. That made me very sad, actually. But, maybe later I’ll end up there. The cool thing is when I do decide to go for my BA the company will help pay for it, so, ya. Can’t complain.

Hit the ‘Single for a year’ mark back in July. I did go out on one date in that year, and had a bit of make out time with the guy. But it just didn’t end up working. So, yes, I successfully made it through the year ^_^ Hazzah! Of course, I’ve already got my next conquest planned out. Eric is a cutie living close to Kansas City, whom I actually used to work with at the casino. He’s very eager to take me on a date, and plans on coming to visit sometime this month. It’s cute. But, I’m not taking things to seriously. Over the last year, watching other people’s relationships, reconciling some of my passed ones, and analyzing the pros and cons of being in one at this point in my life.. they just don’t really seem worth it. Even the good ones are distracting and make a person less productive. Especially the first couple of months. If you start out really infatuated with someone your mind wanders and it’s harder to concentrate on things that need to be done. And then if there is a breakup? Dear God, my job is stressful enough without having to go through all that emotional junk on top of it.

So, I dunno. I guess we’ll just see what happens. I’m holding the whole situation at arms length. We’ve got a whole lot in common, more so then I think I’ve had with any guy, and I do like him. But he’s really going to have to wow me to get me to take anything seriously.

I’m still living at home, and I need a new car. Sadly, while I could move out on the pay that I’m getting, I really need a new car first. So, I’m saving for a down payment big enough to keep my payments at roughly $200/month, closer to $275/$300 with insurance, and then I’ll think a bout places. Though I do have a potential roommate, if she’d get herself organized enough with money management to get her out of the house.

I’m still playing with DailyBooth.com. It is still the most awesome site ever. Not so much on the YouTubing lately, though Rose (potential roomate) and I have some ideas for a show we’d like to do. It’s just a matter of getting it organized. So that might be something to see here in the future.

No real trips planned for the future. There was talk of going to Anime Iowa in the middle of this month, but I don’t know if that’s going to happen now or not. I will probably make plans to visit Eric in Kansas City if things go well enough when he takes me out. And Rose has said something about me going with her to New York at the end of the summer, which would be awesome as I really miss NYC and would love to see Ricky and Ally again ^_^

But, aside from that stuff, nothing to interesting has been going on. I’ve settled into a rather dull routine that puts me working 75%-90% of my weeks away.. like every other American.. something that I don’t really understand how people can do for 40 - 50 years of there life. It makes me ill thinking I’ll spend any more than a couple of years working this much of my life away.

My life is pretty stable and happy over all right now though, so I can’t complain. I hope you are all enjoying your lives as well Hopefully another entry sooner rather than later.

Ja~

So I’m sitting here at the Denver Airport… and I can’t help but be distracted by all the birds. Seriously, this place has more sparrows then our barn does at home. I had one fly past my head while sitting here chatting with David!

Though, it does make the airport a little more interesting..

I left from Moline, IL airport around 3PM. Firstly.. people below a certain IQ who don’t know how to use INDOOR voices shouldn’t be allowed to fly. Our flight was about 15 minutes late taking off because of this rather.. well.. hickish group that had all these issues and such. One fellow needed two seats because he was a bit overweight. That’s fine and dandy and all, but he was annoying and very loud and whiny, and his wife was just as loud and whiny.

I also got frisked on my way through airport security. I’m s tarting to wonder if I look supsicious. Last year on my way to New York, NY my bag was searched because I had ‘a large number of electronic devices’ in my bag ^^; I only have a few!

• Laptop
• Laptop Charger
• Cell Phone
• Cell Phone charger
• MP3 player
• MP3 player charger
• Digital Camera
• Digital Camera charger
• Video Camera
• Video Camera Charger

…so ya, I probably do look like a walking bomb ^^; But, oh well!

So, an hour or so left until my flight thinks about leaving from Denver.. Yay!

Tonight, I miss Tim.

It’s a troublesome feeling.

I hope it passes quickly.

I told Matt off. I doubt I’ll hear from him again soon, if ever again.

Don’t forget to hit up my DailyBooth, Cheezy has joined me in the awesomeness.. so should you!

Also, I posted a video on YouTube. My attempt and fail at a first video blog entry.

So, more of those to come eventually. When I have the energy.

Oh! I applied for my passport today! Which makes me all sorts of happy Can’t wait to get it! Now plane tickets are the next step.

hmm.. not much else to update on tonight. So, I’m going to shower and go to sleep, so I can go to work in the morning. Yayz~

Ja.

“Best Days of Your Life” - Kellie Pickler

‘Cus I’ll be there, in the back of your mind
From the day we met ’til you making me cry
And it’s just too bad, you’ve already had the best days
The best days of your life

Ain’t it a shame?
A shame that every time you hear my name
Brought up in a casual conversation
You can’t think straight

And ain’t it sad?
You can’t forget about what we had
Take a look at her and do you like what you see?
Or do you wish it was me

CHORUS:
‘Cus I’ll be there, in the back of your mind
From the day we met to the very last night
And it’s just too bad, you’ve already had the best days
The best days of your life

And does she know?
Know about the times you used to hold me
Wrapped me in your arms and how you told me
I’m the… the only one

I heard about
Yeah, someone told me once, when you were out
She went a little crazy ran her mouth about me
Ain’t jealousy funny?

CHORUS
‘Cus I’ll be there, in the back of your mind
From the day we met to the very last night
And it’s just too bad, you’ve already had the best days
The best days of you life

…with me was a fairytale love
I was head-over-heals ’til you threw away “us”
And it’s just too bad you’ve, already had the best days
The best days of your life

I heard you’re gonna get married
Have a nice little family
Live out my dreams with someone new

But, I’ve been told that a cheater
Is always a cheater
I’ve got my pride, and she’s got you

CHORUS
‘Cus I’ll be there, in the back of your mind
From the day we met ’til you were making me cry
And it’s just too bad, you’ve already had the best days
The best days of your life…

Of your life
Oh, oh, yeah
You’re gonna think of me
You’re gonna think of me in your life
Oh, oh, yeah
It’s a shame, it’s a shame…It’s a shame

————-

Theme song for Matt attempting to be friendly with me again^. It’s.. unnerving.. and kind of insulting. Here’s the conversation I’m currently having with him:

Matt G: howdy partner.
Matt G: hows it goin
Havoc: not to bad
Havoc: you?
Matt G: Its a goin. jst workn.
Matt G: Stayn out of trouble?
Havoc: yup
Matt G: i cleaned out my car the other day and found the railroad tie frm when we were down by tracks
Havoc: cool, that was a while ago
Matt G: Whn i got to ft mad and cross the tracks by climax and siemens i thnk about whe we walkd thm. i dnt think it would have been tht far to walk all the way to there
Matt G: Glad u r stayn out of trouble. yea it was a bit ago. i brought it in the house
Havoc: it was a very long way to walk
Matt G: Ahh i thnk we wuld have made it. we had all ready gone a lng way. lol
Matt G: Sides if needed i would have carried you or givn u a piggy back ride.   lol   seriously tho i would
Havoc: that’s good to know, glad it didn’t come to that tho
Matt G: Ahh come on it would be fun!
Havoc: sounds like a lot of work on your part
Matt G: nah. it would be fun, no work!
Havoc: if you say so, I think you’re a little silly myself
Matt G: Always fun no work. total blast
Matt G: silly isnt too bad.
Matt G: Mayb give it a shot sometime and see wht happns…
Havoc: what? Being silly or being carried? lol
Matt G: why not both.   lol
Matt G: Nice status message by the way. good tune
Havoc: Silly I can do. But in generaly I’m pretty sure g/f’s don’t like it when their guys go carrying other girls around ; P
Havoc: it’s one of my fav songs right now
Matt G: maybe but wouldnt really worry bout tht.
Matt G: Its a good tune. got some meaning in there.
Havoc: why wouldn’t you worry about it?
Matt G: i dnt knw. cause thnk wuld be fun to walk thm and see wht all has changd if anythng.
Matt G: would u nt like to be carried?
Havoc: Eh, why would I want to be carried by an ex who’s currently in a relationship when I’ve got single guys who want my attention who’d do it?

–

Ok, for the benefit of any boy who has never spent a day out hiking with me. Burlington’s largest park sits on the edge of the Mississippi river, but before you get to the river there is a set of railroad tracks. These tracks run the length of the river in this area. If you should cross the fence on the trails in the park you can scale your way down to these tracks and take a lovely walk down the side of the river, cliff faces on one side and the river on the other. Of course, on occasion, you do have to scale the side of the cliff to avoid a passing train. It’s very fun, and worth the views you get.

So, it’s a tradition of mine to take boys I’m dating/interested in for a walk on these tracks. Some guys think it’s fun, some thinks it’s dull, others think it’s crazy. You get a good idea of personality doing these sorts of things and you have a lot of time to talk between rare near death experiences.

So, Matt has decided to reminice about the day I took him for this walk. To be honest, he’s the only guy who has ever walked that far with me. We walked to a plant that would have taken about 15 minutes to get to driving 55 mph. I  think we were out walking for 5 or 6 hours. It was a very good day. Of course this was back when I was still in love with him and he hadn’t proved to be a complete and total asshole who was worthy of stealing away Dave’s title.

As you can see by the way the conversation is going, he really doesn’t care how he makes his girlfriends feel when it comes to other women. Hence why I ended up completely miserable in my relationship with him.

What gets me is the randomness of it. We’ve barely talked in the last year. I’ve made not effort whatsoever to contact him. And the last two weeks he’s been chatty as hell, texting me and messaging me on Y!M. He wants to get together, go to lunch or hang out and ‘catch up’. I’d say the latest girl must be getting boring.

He’s broken my heart no less than 3 times. I’m pretty sure I’ve learned my lesson.

He hasn’t responded since I said that last bit. I’m sure his pride is hurt that I’m not still eager to be his girl.

Ja~

Not the final itinerary, just did some searching on Orbitz to see what all it would cost and decide what flight times looked best for the prices.

——————-

May 14, 2009 - Moline, IL – Las Vegas, NV
– $131 + $28 taxes & fees = $159 per person   

1 stop -  Economy - 2hr 17min - Canadair

Change planes. Time between flights: 1hr 5min

Economy - 1hr 56min - Airbus A32S

Total duration: 5hr 18min

May 17, 2009 - Las Vegas, NV – Calgary, AB
$202 + $33 taxes & fees = $235 per person

May 22, 2009 - Calgary, AB - San Diego, CA
$157 + $65 taxes & fees = $222 per person

May 29, 2009 - San Diego, CA – Moline, IL

154 + $28 taxes & fees = $182 per person

1 stop – Economy - 3hr 31min - Airbus A320

Change planes. Time between flights: 1hr 0min

Economy - 1hr 17min - Canadair

Total duration: 5hr 48min

TOTALS

**This does not include checked baggage fees.

“Fake It” - Seether

Ja!

zomg.. o.o;

I am bouncing as I write this.

You have absolutely no idea how excited I am!

My sister does, but that’s because she saw me physically bouncing as I explained it to her.

Silent Infinity has atrophied over the past couple of years while I’ve been busy and not had any new ideas.. I’ve focused on plot holes that I never could seem to mend..

But..

I just mended one..

And it’s one of the biggest ones I’ve been dealing with..

And it’s all thanks to knowing a guy named Tim Harmon o.o;

Damn him. He goes and breaks my heart and fucks up our friendship.. and then, suddenly, he hits me on the head like some sadistic muse.

He has no idea x D

It’s always so funny how the best stuff comes from the more traumatic experiences in our lives <3

Anyway! The short of the long is, that Tim’s alias online generally contains the word ‘ruin’ which fits nicely into my villian naming convention in Silent Infinity. And, since I’ve always thought of Tim as an interesting character (even if he is GOD AWFUL at being a decent human being), I was kind of trying to figure out how to fit Ruin into the ranks of my villains.

This isn’t normal for me.. usually I yank out characters that I’ve based on exes.. here I’m actually trying to put an ex into the existing storyline..

The thing you have to know about Tim is.. he’s always reminded me an insane amount of Witty. His ‘psycho’ grin is dead on for Witty’s, and he’s clever and pretty much as much of a showman as Witty is. So, needless to say, fitting in a character that was like Witty, without, well being obviously a doppelganger was tripping me up somewhat.

Then it clicked.

Since Witty is really just an illusion put up by Jace to hide from his ex-cohorts in the Fallen.. who was Jace when he was STILL in the Fallen?

He was RUIN!

ZOMG! I know, right!? ^______^

So, in shortness, Ruin is Jace when he was the leader of the Fallen. Back when he was a soul stealing, city burning, monster. He organized the destruction of Zendel with the help of Magola (Rein’s older brother) who was, at the time his right hand man. He also gained much of his power from stealing the souls of people just before he killed them. He grew up lonely, helpless and misunderstood on the streets of Isis, and took it out on the world for years as Ruin.

Then, of course, he realized what he was doing.

Like any good anti-hero.

And thus created Witty, and ran away to hide and try to redeem himself.

And the rest, well, if you’ve ever RPed with me when I’ve done Witty then you know how he is. X P

So, yes..

Now Jace has curly hair.. clever eyes… and a fiendish grin.

He is complete, and I can honestly say at this very moment, I don’t hate Tim Harmon. He has officially become a figment of my imagination, a character that has destroyed a powerful city, slaughtered thousands, turned brother against sister, and stolen the souls of the people closest to him.. and knows he can never fully redeem himself, no matter what he does, or for how long he does it.

So, cheers to Tim Harmon, who has suddenly warped my favorite character into demented perfection. The malice I felt for you has been replaced with sheer amusement, for I have changed you from a man who can hurt me to a character whose destiny I control.

And, yes, I did have to refrain from calling him and going ‘OMG! YOU ARE FUCKING WITTY PHANTOM!’

Though, I’m sure that would have been HILARIOUS and his mind would have promptly imploded at the sound of sheer giddy in my voice.

Once again, none of you have any idea how giddy I am @_@ Seriously, I’ve been working on the finishing touches of Jace since I created him 6 years ago.. and now I have him. And he’s perfect.

..and I’m running on very little sleep.. so that helps too ^____^

So, yes, long enough post about that.

Also, Luke is GOD because he reminded me that Gmail saves EVERYTHING..

And thus my Fractured Fantasy Forum posts have all been recovered <3!

They shall be going up somewhere for the world to read..

Night all! Much love! ^^ <3

“I Don’t Want To Be In Love” - Good Charlotte

Ja~

“Gone” - Kelly Clarkson